A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Market
by Negotiatrix
Summary: The day started normally enough, but it quickly descends into shock and confusion for Yahiko when he has a chance encounter in the market.


Summary: The day started normally enough, but it quickly descends into shock and confusion for Yahiko when he has a chance encounter in the market.

Disclaimer: This is a fan-created, non-profit work and in no way associated with the creators, producers or writers of Rurouni Kenshin.

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A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE MARKET 

The day had started normally enough. Yahiko did his chores and practice, then Kaoru sent him off to buy tofu. He was whistling cheerfully as he walked along, looking forward to the chance of meeting Tsubame in the market.

Turning a corner onto the main street of the market, Yahiko saw the man immediately. He knew he'd been spotted as well and his good mood evaporated. His steps faltered for the barest moment before he resolutely marched on.

Quickly, he shifted the tofu bucket to his left hand and adjusted the bamboo shinai over his shoulder into a more accessible position. Just in case. Not that there was much he could do should the confrontation come to blows, but its presence made him feel better.

A few more steps and his path would take him right past where the man was leaning against a storefront, smoking. In spite of his show of bravado, Yahiko couldn't bring herself to meet the man's eyes, so he kept his gaze fixed ahead as he drew even and waited for the inevitable .

It didn't come.

It wasn't until he was a dozen steps past that Yahiko realized he had walked right by Hajime Saitou without hearing a single insulting word. Not even a sniff of disdain, or an annoying stream of smoke blown in his face. The man had done nothing.

His steps slowed and then stopped. Curiosity finally got the better of him and he turned to look back. The cop was still there, still smoking, and seeming to idly watch the passerby.

Yahiko was already halfway back before he realized what he was doing was crazy. He had gotten by, and now he was going back. It could only lead to the confrontation he was afraid of to begin with.

Still, Yahiko's pride wouldn't let this go. He planted himself in front of Saitou, but the man didn't even look at him.

"What? You think I'm beneath your notice or something?" Yahiko demanded, bouncing on his toes a little in nervous expectation. He wasn't entirely sure that even being out of uniform and on a public street would deter Saitou from violence.

Saitou finally looked down at him before glancing across the street with an expression that looked a lot like anxiety. Yahiko started to turn to see what could cause such a reaction in the man.

"This is no place for little kids! Or did you get lost?" Saitou said in his nasty way. Forgetting whatever was over there, Yahiko immediately bristled with rage. Before he could come up with any sort of comeback however, he noticed Saitou looking across the street again.

This time when Yahiko turned, he had time to notice that it was an apothecary shop before being yanked around by a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you have an errand or something, kid?" Saitou asked, his impatience obvious.

By now, even being called a kid didn't get Yahiko riled up. Saitou's strange behavior was too intriguing.

Backing up out of Saitou's reach, he looked again at the shop. There was a woman on the other side of the door curtain, apparently about to leave. Understanding finally dawned and he faced Saitou with a wicked grin.

"So, how are you doing? Nice day, eh?" Yahiko asked nonchalantly. The tall man stared at him as if he had sprouted another head.

"Waiting to meet someone maybe? You got a girlfriend or something? Gee, I'd sure like to meet her too! I wonder, does she know you're smoking out here?" Yahiko asked, nearly laughing out loud.

The tall man threw his cigarette to the ground and began striding away. Yahiko dropped the tofu bucket in shock. Was Saitou . . . was he _retreating_?

"Hey!" he shouted and ran after him. Saitou looked over his shoulder, but not back at Yahiko. Instead he glanced across the street again, and lengthened his stride.

Yahiko was about to catch up, and Saitou was about to turn a corner when a feminine voice floated over them.

"Wait for me!" a woman called out merrily.

Saitou froze in his tracks and Yahiko nearly barreled into his back. Spinning around, they both confronted a small, strange looking woman. Saitou said nothing, but Yahiko noticed his sword hand twitching and hastily stepped back in the alley.

The woman came closer and looked back and forth between them. Saitou moved back into the alley as well, but remained silent. The woman grinned in a frightening way and raised an eyebrow at Saitou. Yahiko edged a little further away, hoping to escape this bizarre situation.

The woman still seemed intent on her staring contest with Saitou, but just before Yahiko could bolt, her hand shot out and grabbed him. Yahiko fought to free himself, but her grip on his collar was surprisingly strong.

"You said you would wait for me, Hajime," she said. Saitou still said nothing and they both completely ignored Yahiko who had stopped his struggles to listen better.

"It's very rude to make me run after you in this condition you know!" she continued, never loosening her grip on Yahiko.

Saitou snorted in disdain. "It's very rude to be out in public in this condition to begin with!" he retorted. Yahiko tried to figure out what her condition was. She looked fat, but in a strange, lumpy way.

"I need those herbs and supplies and you were completely unwilling to get them for me."

"It's not my job to fetch and carry for you! Get that worthless husband of yours to do your errands!

"He asked you specifically to take care of me while he's out of town. On the mission _you_ sent him on I might add!"

_They argue like me and Kaoru!_ Yahiko thought to himself in amazement

"I **am** taking care of you, that's why I came along! But I'll be damned if I'm going into some shop and buying that . . . that _**woman** _stuff for you!"

"But you **didn't** wait for me!" the woman declared triumphantly. "And in my condition too!" She was openly pouting now. Once again, curiosity got the better of Yahiko.

"What condition?"

Two pairs of identical golden eyes turned to stare at Yahiko who tried to look very small and not worth the effort of killing.

"She's bringing another brat like herself into the world!" Saitou snapped. He drew out a cigarette and lit it with an air of resignation. Yahiko turned to the woman again, still confused.

"My, my, you're an innocent one!" she chuckled. "I'm having a baby is what little Hajime means to say!"

Saitou turned his head to blow a cloud of smoke and muttered, "Brat!"

Yahiko's jaw dropped in amazement. _'Little Hajime?'_ His confusion about the talk of babies was forgotten at hearing Saitou referred to as 'little.' _No wonder she's scary!_ Yahiko thought. _She's his sister!_

"Here," the woman said, letting go of him and pulling something out of her bag. Yahiko instinctively flinched away from whatever the sister of Saitou kept in there, but all she produced was his tofu bucket. "You dropped your container back there," she said, still smiling that creepy Saitou-like smile.

Yahiko took it, bowed hastily, then darted around the corner and back into the normal world of the market. Tofu didn't matter now. He couldn't wait to get back to the dojo with this story. Besides, he needed to ask Kenshin what being fat had to do with having babies.

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A few notes: 

In many societies of the past, it was considered not safe, rude, unlucky, indecent or some combination thereof for a pregnant woman to appear in public.

Yahiko is an orphan, young, and lives in an unconventional household, so I figured he wouldn't know much about how babies are made or what a pregnant woman looks like.


End file.
